Recovery Begins As Soon As You Feel Under The Weather

I got really really sick over the weekend. I ended up spending my Sunday in the ER laying almost unconscious because the whole way from my home to the nearest hospital, I was gasping for air 😮‍💨 These kind of critical moments made me SUPER thankful, that I've spent most of my days practicing pranayama (breath) and regulating my nervous system.

But I believe my body started to drop a couple days prior. I had been complaining to my husband that my forearms were sore for no reason and half-jokingly said that "I think its because I've been reading comics so much these days 😄". He said that mustn't be it because he read hundreds of comics in his life, his arms never gets sore from it. I genuinely wished that was it and hoped by the next morning the soreness had gone better. The following day, my arms felt better but the day progressed as one of those stressful ones where I had professional things to mitigate, personal arguments- which was pretty heated to say the least, ended up having improper breakfast, lunch, and dinner time stamps because of all the hectics. Plus! opted for only the fast-grab rather than mindfully creating space for the meal. By the evening, I'm starting to feel my forearms again and this time I'm getting suspicious it wasn't because of the comics.

Saturday came. It's usually an off day for me. The arguments I had from the day before were honestly weighing still on the weekend and I knew I had to work it in my mind and body to ease whatever leftover tensions from them. So I decided to chill and decompress for I know I have to save energy for the next day. Sunday is always a busy day for me. Yoga Teachers, we work when people are out of their 9-5hours. That day, however, I started to feel really really bloated. Like I never have before. I've tried everything from hot ginger to acupressure, nothing seemed to relieve me out of my gassy gut 😣 Then, right before bed, I'm starting to consider Kerok as my last resort. Mind you, I've never ever Kerokan before. It always seemed painful and the logic just never made sense in my head (let me know if you are team Kerok! 😄🙋🏽‍♀️). I asked my husband for help and as he was gently dragging balm and coin across my back, he suggested to cancel my morning class, take another rest for the whole Sunday. I peeked at the clock, it was 9pm. I genuinely consider, but I couldn't get myself to cancel my classes just because I had Masuk Angin (bloated) 🤣. I just think it wouldn't be professional on my part.

I woke up early Sunday to prepare my 9am class. I was still feeling quite bloated. "hmmm... I guess Kerokan wasn't for me after all" I thought. I even posted it online to share that it was my first time and asked for your opinions on it-- I was surprised that it apparently such a 'love it or hate it' thing! 😄 Anyway, I went on with my day. That particular Sunday was an EXTRA busy one for me: coming right to back-to-back-to back meeting after the 9am class and going straight to my 3pm studio class, then straight to attend a relaunch event, before.... we were supposed to go have dinner with family in the suburb. So, I went back with online-taxi from the event to my house to join my husband and son and get ready for the suburb. And then it happened......

.....As soon as I got back in the house, I went straight to the toilet and 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. Honestly the whole ride with the online-taxi was pretty bad, the car smelled a little too strong of coffee scented perfume and the way the driver drives was awful 🤢 I immediately thought it was that, and it triggered my bloated gut to just spill out. Called my mom to let her know there might be chance that I would not be able to go because I was just feeling so awful. At this point I still think I'd managed to take the 1hr drive to my parents. I took a warm shower to decompress and gather myself, but not long after that I started to frequently went to the toilet 🚽. My body was CHILLED ❄️, even though it was 7pm with the AC turned off. I got under the blanket and my husband went to our neighbor -who, we're so lucky, she's a doctor- to ask for her opinion. AND LET ME TELL YOU. When I say I'm TREMBLING fam, I"M TREMBLING LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE.

At this point, both my husband and son are at my neighbors house asking for her thoughts on my condition (my son's just there for the cats 😄😹). I'm at home alone shaking uncontrollably. I tried to chat him. Couldn't get a word right because I kept on typing typos. So I called him and all I managed to say was "go home. go home now"....

While I was holding myself under the blanket, freezing, shaking, trying to control my breath by trying to get my exhale longer.... nature called again. I rushed into the toilet, but it felt even more freezing in the bathroom. At this point, I decided to warm myself under the warm water in the shower. It got me to a point where I can manage to get a good flow of breaths and able to have (quite panic) conversation with my husband. I kept going back and forth like this for a good whole minute and every time my husband tried to spoon me a medicine, I shoot it right back out. And the whole time I'm shaking still 😖. But then I felt super lightheaded and (dramatically) insisted him to take me to the ER.

It happened quickly. I nearly loose sight completely before my husband managed to DRAGGED me into the car. I honestly don't have a clear memory between the shower and the time I felt better in the ER. All I know is that I was just focusing hard on keeping my breath going. I'm again feel so grateful that I have some knowledge about calming the body down, using the breath as a tool to check in, even in difficult moment like this one. Because the whole time I was trembling, it felt like I was gasping for air. I could not imagine, if I just fall fully into the panic of my body and let my breath loose.

After the blood test, it turns out that I had typhus. This was my first time (and hopefully the last one!). And personally, compared to all other things I had (honestly, event Covid, I had a light one), typhus for me it the worst one to experience. Even though the critical moment was short-lifted, it was definitely the most dramatic compare to others.

With that, it got me rewinding back to the first moment I felt off in my body. In retrospect, I brushed out SOOO many signs from my body (and my husband! 🤣🙏🏻) before completely dropping almost unconscious. From the soreness, the bloat, the tiredness and feeling of needing rest..... even the throwing up 😅. I "pushed through" because I felt it would be unprofessional for me to not go to work and juggle around the City because I felt bloated.

This experience has taught me one of the most valuable thing in my wellness journey. That Recovery Begins As Soon As You Feel Under The Weather. Once you feel there's something off whether that's in your mind, body or soul.. you should start your recovery.